To abandon a life of self-destruction and negativity takes self-reflection and genuine remorse before one can repent and seek redemption.
In Charles Lewis Anthony’s Let Me Tell You How I Got Save, he mentions several moments when he almost lost his life and how his membership and drug habits alienated him from his family and his so-called friends. And yet, his entanglement with one the law and his involvement in gang-related activities went on for years. There is only one explanation for this- it took him that long to embrace self-reflection and genuine remorse.
In Anthony’s book for a better life, he shares that when he fully realizes that God was always with him, Charles began to contemplate a lot and eventually decided that he would take control over his life and seek redemption.
Anthony’s narrative is not unique and, in fact, very common among memoirs of former thugs, criminals, undesirables, and those who underwent depression, crisis, and even traumas. It took them years and years to move on from a life of despair, fear, confusion, anger, and regrets. Identifying one’s situation or dilemma is not enough to remedy the situation or to break bad habits. While it is necessary to move on to the next stages of acceptance and eventually to take responsibility and action, self-reflection and sincere remorse are essential to change.
Self-reflection or self-awareness is essential because it allows us to look deeply into our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self-reflection without bias shows us objective truths and helps us assess our thoughts, words, and actions. It also allows us to evaluate ourselves, in particular, our practices, mannerism, habits, strengths, and weaknesses.
While self-reflection can also turn into self-judgment, which is dangerous when it becomes obsessive, it is a valuable tool for self-criticism. Healthy criticism, in turn, is essential in acknowledging where we fell short, what is wrong, what is unhealthy, and how we can right these wrongs and be better persons. For people who have fallen into a life of despair, violence, drugs, and even crime, this will be particularly hard and may take time.
In many cases, a significant event or circumstance may push them to finally self-reflect on their lives. This might be costly for them but necessary at times. Self-reflection is a process of self-acknowledgment and eventually acceptance. Acceptance is the key to forgiveness and redemption.
So aside from self-reflection, why do we need genuine remorse? Remorse is defined as deep regret or guilt over something wrong. It is an emotion closely related to self-resentment. While remorse is a distressing emotion experienced by anyone who regrets their past actions and is ashamed, hurt, or angry, it can only last for as long as they feel responsible for their actions. Meaning, once that guilt dissolves; either a person will move forward to changing their ways or revert to their destructive habits or routines. This is why genuine remorse is so vital if we truly want to seek redemption and embrace a more positive and healthy outlook in life.
But what is genuine remorse? By being genuinely sorry, we mean taking full responsibility and accepting the consequence of our wrongdoings. If one is into drug or substance abuse, it means checking oneself in a rehab facility, embracing its programs, and avoiding relapse. If one has committed a crime, it means turning oneself and serves a sentence.
In general, genuine remorse means doing what is right and doing right by the people we have wronged. This is essential in the road to forgiveness and redemption. Genuine remorse means accepting that we have done wrong and forgiving ourselves by asking forgiveness and being accountable for those mistakes. Being remorseful is a positive trait because it allows us to see past our ego, our self-importance and begin to see a bigger picture. We also acknowledge other people’s feelings by acknowledging our shortcomings and failures, especially those we have hurt in the past. It is also a great motivation for us to do the right thing moving forward.
Together with self-reflection, genuine remorse will ensure our road to a better, more peaceful life. It is also essential to know that while these two are personal, we cannot achieve these two traits independently. Sometimes, we need the guidance of God and those people for us to embrace these significant stages of healing and forgiveness.
Oliver’s Twist 