Maybe you’ve heard of the saying, “War is not always the answer.” Reading books about war such as those by Francis J. Dutch makes us realize how harmful the effects of war are and how it impacts many people’s lives. However, what ultimately causes war? At the end of the day, whether it is because of history or land, war primarily stems from disagreement – when people don’t agree on something they were supposed to do.
Because of this, learning how to smooth over disagreements isn’t just something that we should overlook. As most people say, we should “start small,” and at a young age, we should already start to try and learn how to smooth over disagreements with other people. When people disagree, people tend to get into fights most of the time. They say things they don’t mean and hurt other people around them. So here are some ways for you to smooth over disagreements:
1. Don’t Ignore It
The issue with many is that people ignore their problems or issues with another person hoping that it just goes away. However, this issue is that it seldom goes away and just keeps coming back to haunt and frustrate you. Moreover, it may even be brought back up in future disagreements making a minor issue even more significant than it seems.
Even if you successfully ignore the issue altogether and successfully find a way to never speak with the person again, it usually leaves the issue hanging in your head. Similar to relationships that need closure when it ends, you also need to end a specific issue to come to terms with it.
2. Stop finger-pointing
Stop playing the blame game if you disagree because of something awful that happened. Most of the time, this just offends another person and makes things more heated without actually finding a solution for the issue. Moreover, if you start to blame other people instead of finding ways to address your issue at hand, people are more likely to call you unreasonable, even if it is totally not your fault.
3. Space
Giving each other time to calm down is one of the best things you can do when you have a disagreement or conflict. This works best most of the time if both of you are no longer thinking straight and just starting to insult each other, especially if it is no longer related to what you may be arguing about.
Most of the time, giving each other time to think will allow you to cool off and work with your emotions better before talking to each other about it again. Moreover, the space often allows people to look at the other’s perspective more since you have the time to consider it better already.
4. Stop negativity
Most of the time, when having fights with a romantic partner, things can go wrong when you start to be resentful, bitter, or hostile. Most of the time, this ends up in screaming fits and not talking to each other at all. Because of this, even in other arguments like work, it is better to avoid being negative and focus more on the things you could be doing to solve the problem.
5. Don’t exaggerate
The issue with many disagreements, especially couples, is that they tend to exaggerate by using “Always” or “Never.” When people do this, they get offended because what a person may be saying is not entirely true. What they did once or twice is not representative of their entire behavior or personality. Because of this, it is essential to avoid saying “Always” or “Never,” especially if you know that it is not always the case.
Aside from that, there are times when people exaggerate details or overthink a particular action. If something has only happened once, it is always better to give them the benefit of the doubt and avoid assuming that this is always their behavior.
6. Be reasonable
The issue with disagreements is that people cannot settle on a particular issue. So if you do not agree on something, especially if you are on opposing ends of an issue, it is better to offer a reasonable solution, not one where only your side benefits from it. Aside from that, a reasonable solution often means that in some way, both sides get what they want to benefit from it.
Oliver’s Twist 